the bigdumbHoosier Archive - 02.12.2001
Ludd Ball?
Over the weekend I frittered away an hour or so watching the much ballyhooed "eXtreme Football League". I had eXpected something radically different than familiar NCAA and NFL type football, but really it wasn't all that much different. Players are allowed to act out a bit more, cheerleaders are unremorsefully slutty, and the kicking game has some eXperimental rules. Not bad football, but not necessarily eXtreme either. More like a minor league; I wonder if they checked the average temperature in Chicago in February before they decided to do this. There's a reason why Midwesterners go for basketball - the gymnasium is heated!
It seems that the "X" is really intended to refer to gen-X. In theory it's a good idea to modify the game to take into consideration the tastes of the viewers, and ratings for sporting events have been dropping as televised competitions move into new territories, like the artificial alternative reality seen in Survivor, the low-brow quiz world of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, or the highly competitive, clever yet simultaneously risqué banter of Win Ben Stein's Money. As a techno-luddite, I'm hooked on Comedy Central's Robot Wars, which takes the rules of gladiator combat - kill or die - and applies them in a bloodless combat that leverages off of our love/hate relationship with technology.
But, being a bigdumbHoosier, my game is basketball. Seeing the XFL's probably doomed efforts to start a new league with more appeal to younger audiences, I wondered if the time hasn't come to create a basketball league that appeals to older audiences. Say, the Old Time Basketball League. We're talking Ludd-ball here - no shot clocks, no dunking, ball control violations (traveling, palming, double dribble) STRICTLY enforced, lane violations STRICTLY enforced.
Would it be popular? It's doubtful it could stand on its own, but it would make an interesting exhibition sport. Perhaps they could play an abbreviated game prior to an NBA matchup in selected Old Time Basketball cities such as New York, Indianapolis, Philadelphia, Boston and Chicago. The NBA could create, say, four teams, and assign each one a specific style of play, (1) The 'Milan' slow down squad - these guys drive the opposition crazy holding the ball for minutes at a time, (2) the 'Princeton' style, with some Ivy Leaguers types running the back-cut offense and disciplined man-to-man defense, (3) the 'John Wooden Memorial Team' using old fashioned basketball methods (hook shots, set shots) and highly athletic players, (4) the 'New Yorker' style team with lots of height and speed. Fans could get a taste of a basketball's heritage, and maybe Bob Knight would be able to get a coaching job.
